This is actually something I wanted to call in to Prime Time Sports about except that during the 4 o'clock hour for both Thursday and Friday, I was busy :( So I'm going to write it here. :)

It's about the Brendan and Brian Burke story. :) I first heard about it on PTS when Bob interviewed John Buccigross about his story on ESPN.com, and after that I read it the next day in the Toronto Star, and then went online and found that EVERYBODY was talking about it. :o And I honestly, found it a very heart warming and wonderful story. Seriously, it made me smile a lot while reading it and just gave me so much respect for Brian Burke as a parent and Brendan for his courage in wanting to blaze that trail in sports culture and esp hockey culture. :)

But what also popped out at me, unfortunately, was all the negativity to the story, the comments in the papers and in the ESPN article and the callers to Prime Time Sports the next day. You know the ones, they're the people who shout "why is this news?" as if somehow this is taking away e-space from yet another story about how the Leafs suck, or "this isn't a story" (which actually means, this isn't a story YOU care about, queer ppl read news too) or "in this day and age why.." which shows a complete ignorance, willful or otherwise, of the fact that no pro athlete has "outed" themselves while still playing the sport, and that in hockey, at either the pro or university levels, (according to the Toronto Star) there are no "out" staff, much less players. And I feel I need to respond.

As a trans girl, I want to say, this is ABSOLUTELY news. Absolutely. I remember how hard it was to grow up playing sports in a culture that was incredibly misogynistic and homophobic, where I'd be afraid to even suggest that I found a guy cute, much less my gender identity, where "gay" and "fag" were casually tossed around, and where calling other players "girls" was an insult and a "motivational tool" by coaches. Cuz who wants to be a "girl" right? And I also remember how hard it was to come out to my family and friends when I finally came out to myself, after years of repression, depression, self hatred and denial. And how even though my mother didn't have the reputation nor public persona that Brian Burke did, of being a "macho" and "tough" person, I still could think of a million reasons why she might not have accepted me, and she did accept me, but I still remember how scary and difficult it was, and I can only imagine how much more difficult and scary it was for Brendan, especially with the culture he was working and living in. And to not only see his father be so accepting but also so POSITIVE, that he even, on his own accord, wants to go to Pride and MARCH in Pride. It's amazing, it's impressive, it's INSPIRING. It honestly is. I mean, I am so... blown away, by the idea that next year, I might be marching in the Parade with one of the most powerful and influential figures in sports. :] I would never have had in a million years imagined that, and I really do hope that this is the first step in a real sea change, and maybe it's one in many steps, but it's SOMETHING, and hopefully Brendan being out will be not just one but many of those steps. :)

See the thing is, for queer ppl and their families, and esp queer ppl involved in sports and sports culture, this IS a story, it's a HUGE story, and it's an inspiring story. And even outside of sports, it gives hope to every queer person who hasn't come out to their family yet. And it also is a positive message to the family, friends and allies of queer ppl. :) This is a story of hope. And that's NEVER "not a story" to me. Yes, in Canada, we have gay marriage, but that doesn't mean that we have acceptance in society, or in sports. And also it's not just as simple as "well people in the locker room won't mock me", in games like hockey, you worry about being run, and "taken out" and esp in hockey where ppl are "taken out" all the time and it's "part of the game", there's so many easy defenses too. That's a huge fear, and one I've heard expressed from other queer players in sports.

Like Brian, I hope for the day where this is not a story, where nobody needs to "carry an axe" to defend their "trailblazing" loved ones and where queer and trans players can be open in the dressing room and feel safe. Because, this isn't about "shoving" anything in anybody's faces. Everybody is assumed to be cis and straight. Every male athlete is assumed to want a girlfriend, and if they state they have a girlfriend, or if there's a story about how strong a support their wife is to them (think Presidents and politicians) nobody thinks "OMG YOU"RE SHOVING YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE IN MY FACE".. and if they talk about "when I was a boy" nobody says "omg you're shoving your cissexuality in my face!" because these things are accepted and "normal", you don't even notice or think of it as a display of anybody's gender identity or sexual identity, and that's the type of environment I hope and (I think) Burke hopes we'll get to. Where this really ISN'T a big deal, where it's so not a big deal that we won't get hysterical comments about "THIS ISN'T A BIG DEAL STOP TALKING ABOUT IT". xD

So yeah, I just want to respond, and also to commend Bob and Bruce Arthur and Jeff Blair and everybody else who have been involved in spreading this story about on their level of respect and understanding and how well they've handled it (and the responses) :) And just to say, from a person who IS queer and who IS a huge sports fan and who played (and still does play) sports, it IS a story. It's inspiring and it's positive, both to queer ppl and also to our family, friends and allies. We read the news too and this IS news, and it's GOOD news! I mean... for once.. in the news (and esp Toronto sports news xD) isn't that a nice change? :]

And finally, I think Burke should bring the Leafs with him when he marches next year. I mean, the way things are going, it's the only parade they'll be involved in in a long long time. xD Maybe the Jays could join them too >_>;;;